The best part about this journey I have been on is that it hasn't just been about weight loss. I have learned so much about myself, time management and ultimately happiness. This journey has morphed me into someone who is happy to be doing what I am doing and has started living in the moment more.
How many times have we over-committed ourselves only to end up disappointing others and ourselves? If you are like me, the answer used to be quite frequently.
Now my new mantra is:
I AM DEDICATED TO MAKING TIME FOR THE PEOPLE AND THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO ME
Re-read that and take it in. It is pretty a powerful statement.
Here is an EXCELLENT short video on some advice about "doing it all" and fitting it all in. I love her approach!!
In different stages of my life my priorities may be different but right now my priorities look a lot like this:
Does that make me a bad mom that my kids aren't number 1? HECK NO. Does it make you a bad mom if your kids ARE number 1? HECK NO.
Does that mean I don't work my butt off? NO WAY! I totally do but I do it during my scheduled work hours. Jess pre-kids would work any hour of the day! I have learned that in order to maintain more balance in my life I cannot do that.
Also, I hate when people use the word BALANCE. What does that mean anyways?!
Another thing this journey has taught me is:
Sleep is necessary to make IT all work.
Sleep PK (Pre-Kids..I talk more about that here on this blog post) Sleep PK is something you don't even think about. You just do it. You sleep when you want. You sleep in. You take naps. Basically you have it made. And you don't have bags under your eyes.
Then you have kids and you legit would do anything to sleep again. And I mean anything. I remember being in a sleep deprived state walking around Target when Riley was very little, like 3-4 weeks old and I realized I had my pajamas on. Like for real pajamas. Not workout clothes pajamas. It's kind of like when you are driving and you have no idea how the F you got home. Same thing here. I was crazy and desperate, desperate for any baby contraption I could buy that would solve all my problems and grant me the magic night of sleep. So desperate I didn't even realize I went to Target looking homeless. But then fast forward and those early days are long gone and just a memory (and there is no magic contraption).
I'm writing this because my instagram followers started messaging me when I posted (on insta stories) videos of me and Landon waking Riley up in the morning. Yes, most mornings I have to wake Riley up!
Riley is 11 months old and sleeps 7pm-8am straight all night, every night and takes two 1.5 hour-2.5 hour naps a day (or sometimes one long 3.5 hour nap). And Landon is a great sleeper as well at 3 years old sleeping 7:30pm-6:30am, he usually gets up between 6:15-7:00 and plays until his light turns green on his stay in bed alarm (must buy!!!)
I am not saying that to brag AT ALL!! I am posting this to hopefully help some crazy sleep deprived mom up at night googling. Googling anything. I swear I googled when Riley was maybe 4-5 weeks old "my baby is terrible what do I do?" I can laugh about it now but at the time, not funny. At all. And trust me I understand all kids are different but I have two totally different children who both have become good sleepers with our hard work and dedication.
I have brought this up a couple times but my kids are Babywise babies. I know what you are thinking...Great, now I have to read a book?! I'm already cranky and tired and have no time and now the magic answer is in a book?! F her and her f'ing book!"
Ok, ok, I get it. You don't have time to read. The whole concept of this book is pretty simple and seriously once you buy the book you will only need like 15 pages, but they will be the 15 pages that save your life! The concept of the book is:
1. Your child should be on a Feed, Wake, Sleep schedule
DON'T LET YOUR BABY LEARN TO FALL ASLEEP TO THE BOTTLE OR BOOB
So you feed the baby, and then make sure to keep them awake (when they are little awake time could be seriously 15 minutes) and then put them down for a nap.
2. Put them down for a nap or bed tired/sleepy but not already asleep
I mean just think about it. You (like you as an adult) fall asleep in the car and then the car stops, you wake up. It is legit the same thing, you can't let baby fall asleep in your arms and expect them not to wake up when you set them somewhere else.
Both my kids were sleeping in their cribs by 8 weeks old. Maybe not for every single nap but the majority of their sleep was in the crib by 8 weeks old. And because of this they got used to being in their room and their cribs and found it a place of comfort. Riley literally lunges for her crib when it is nap time and snuggles up and I can legit tell she's excited to be in there.
So anyways, back to Babywise, the best part about Babywise is it gives you a schedule. An exact schedule to follow all the way through your child being a year old and older!
Ok now you are thinking "A schedule? Is this girl for real? I can barely squeeze in time for a shower and most days forget to feed myself and now I have to have a schedule?!"
THE ANSWER IS YES!! Yes if you want to live a life of predictability and have TIME for you!!
The reason I can work full time, workout, do my beachbody bizz, My Fitness Tribe Apparel and still have time for family, husband and kids is because we live our life on a schedule.
We put the time in when the kids are young (newborn-4 months old) and it totally pays off. 3 or 4 months of broken sleep is so worth the lifetime of great nights of sleep!
Ok, so you are thinking "F!! My kid isn't a newborn so what do I do?!"
YOU AREN'T A BAD MOM IF YOU LET YOUR KID CRY IT OUT
So a couple things I swear by for creating good sleep habits/atmospheres:
Dohm sound machine - Best $45 we've ever spent. Riley and Landon's room are next to each other and she can sleep through Landon playing and talking.
Miracle blanket- $30. Yup, you guessed it. Its a miracle. Makes baby feel like they are still in womb so you don't have to hold them for sleep. And stays wrapped and put even for a really strong kid.
Stoplight alarm clock for bigger kid (2 years on up)- $40. When Riley was a couple months old and I was crazy and sleep deprived, Landon started waking up at 5am. HECK NO!! I bought this on amazon for same day shipping, told him "Red means stays in bed" and "green means WAKE UP!" 10 months later he still loves and it when his light turns green he calls for us "mommy! daddy! my light is green!"
I understand every child is different and every parenting style is different. I support raising your children to be healthy and happy and if this doesn't work for you, GREAT.
If it is one thing I have learned in this crazy mom journey is that you have to do what works for you and your family. What works for me, may not work for you.
In the end, I am not even sure what this blog post is about any more. It started about "doing it all" and priorities and somehow became about sleep. But you see, sleep is super important to me, so makes sense. Basically, if this blog post did make sense to you, you are my soul sister, the reason I write these. If it didn't, sorry you just wasted your time.
Hi! I'm Jess